Sweetie Talk Take 1

Politically Correct Cat Definitions

1. The cat does not barf hairballs; he is a floor/rug redecorator. The cat does not break things; she helps gravity do its job.
2. The cat does not fear dogs; they are merely sprint practice tools.
3. The cat does not gobble; she eats with alacrity.
4. The cat does not scratch; he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator.
5. The cat does not yowl; he is singing off-key.
6. The cat is not a "shedding machine;" she is a hair relocation stylist.
7. The cat is not a "treat-seeking missile;" she enjoys the proximity of food.
8. The cat is not a bed hog; he is a mattress appreciator.
9. The cat is not a chatterbox; she is advising me on what to do next.
10. The cat is not a dope addict; she is catnip appreciative.
11. The cat is not a lap fungus; he is bed selective.
12. The cat is not a pest; she is attention deprived.
13. The cat is not a ruthless hunter; she is a wildlife control expert.
14. The cat is not evil; she is badness enhanced.
15. The cat is not fat; he is mass enhanced.
16. The cat is not lazy; he is motivationally challenged.
17. The cat is not underfoot; she is shepherding me to the next destination, the food dish.

Photo By: TSE